vagina is talking i cant
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
