Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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