I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
