so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize