if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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