i can't believe i had my finger in that
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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