dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
