What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
