So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
