I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
