I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
