You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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