you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
