Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
