Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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