Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
