As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize