i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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