So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
