White coat. Heels.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize