u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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