Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
