this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
