Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
