the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
