my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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