He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
