Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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