she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
