I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
