Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
