All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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