they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize