take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize