Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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