Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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