and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
