Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
