I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
is this the sara with the beer cane?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
