I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
