First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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