hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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