Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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