If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
