Betty ford says i'm here all night
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
