I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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