We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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