we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
