I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
