She announced her abortion via fbk
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
