I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
