So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
