We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
