and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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