I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
