She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
