YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
