i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
