dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
