So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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