He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize