I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
