He disabled his match.com account in front of me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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