I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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