do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
