the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize