Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
