Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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